Heist
by Tuatuara
Summary: Sasuke's back, but he's got some bad news for Naruto. Now the only way for Konoha to survive is for the Konoha Eleven to pull off a heist that many would deem immpossible. Humor, with some romance. Features Konoha Eleven plus Sasuke. Kabuto too.
1. The News

**Heist**

_It was snowing rain. Wait- what? What am I thinking? It can't be snowing __**and**__ raining, can it? he thought. "Whatever, dattebayo," he stated. I guess I'm in a jailcell. But I can't imagine why I would be in a jail cell, much less in a striped prison-issue outfit. I couldn't remember what had happened the past few days; it was like they never existed… huh. Wait, now I remember…_

_**3 Weeks Earlier**_

_Bang Bang Bang_

"Naruto! Wake up!"

Naruto snapped his eyes open. He saw his door rattling and immediately assumed that Sakura was knocking.

_Why would Sakura be at my house? Well, more like apartment, but, whatever, dattebayo._

He got out of his bed and walked over to the door. Upon opening it, he saw Sakura, but…

_What!? HE's HERE!!!_

Sasuke Uchiha, the last surviving member of his clan, the one who had run away solely for power, was here, staring Naruto in the eye.

"Bastard!" Naruto shouted, and he punched Sasuke in the face. He tackled Sasuke to the floor and started beating him up.

"What—The—Hell—Are—You—Doing—Here!" Naruto yelled in between punches.

"Naruto, stop!" Sakura yelled, "He's come back because he killed Orochimaru and his organization, and his brother, Itachi. And not only that, but he's been reinstated as a Konoha shinobi.

He froze… then

"NANI?!?!?!?!

"But he… Itachi… Orochimaru… Sasuke…" He couldn't believe his ears, Sasuke had killed both Itachi, **and** Orochimaru, two of the dealiest ninja in the world. He smiled. His brother was back, and he'd gotten rid of the person he'd been hunting for almost 10 years, never succeeding. Until now. He'd also**—**

"Hey dobe, you mind getting off of me now?"

He looked down. "Whoops, sorry… teme," he said, "I kind of forgot you were there"

"I noticed." Naruto was extremely happy right now, despite the fact that his best friend had just had a couple jawbones broken.

"Well, I might as well explain what I found out about the Akatsuki while I'm here." Sasuke said, once Naruto had gotten off of him. His mouth was bleeding, and he'd just broken a couple of his teeth, but he was fine, he'd had worse.

"The Akatsuki have all the other Bijuu; they're coming for you."


	2. The Task

This chapter was made very shortly after the first one, a very incredible feat for me, so somebody throw a party please.

If you can't understand Japanese, just PM me, and I'll translate any Japanese in this story

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its affiliates. If I did, the series wouldn't have had so many filler episodes.

* * *

**Heist**

"NANI?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Naruto yelled, "I'M THE ONLY ONE LEFT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Yes dobe, now please stop shouting, you're gonna kill my hearing." the stoic Uchiha answered. "Now, I let me elaborate. The Akatsuki are massing an army to strike Konoha, and not only that, but they plan to revive Orochimaru to lead their army to battle. Apparently Orochimaru somehow grounded himself into Kabuto, whom I'm sure you know."

"Yes, the last time I saw him, he tried to kill me, very observant of you."

"Yes, well, Kabuto sought out the Akatsuki to revive Orochimaru, and they agreed so long as he would destroy Konoha in return."

"Wasn't he planning to destroy Konoha in the first place?"

"Yes dobe, once again, very observant of you."

"Shut up teme."

"You first, dobe."

"Teme!"

"Dobe."

"Teme!"

"Dobe."

"Guys!"

Both Sasuke and Naruto look at the door. They'd completely forgot about Sakura.

"I hate to break up this tearful reunion, but can we please get to the point before I have to blast you two to Sunagaakure!?"

The guys gulped. Neither one wanted to get hit by Sakura, so they both shut up quick.

"Anyway," Sasuke continued, "The Akatsuki's army is still small, because they're using resources from only one village: the Hidden Sound Village. But they have some sort of trump card, a weapon."

"So?"

"I'm getting to that."

"No, I mean, what is this weapon, is it like, all the Bijuu in one host, or like, some giant war machine?"

"No. The weapon, is a ring."

* * *

Me: Muhahahahahahahahahaha! Another short chapter! 

Angry Mob: GRRRRRRR!!!! We Want Longer Chapters!

Me: (sweat drops) Shit!


	3. The Problem

If you can't understand Japanese, just PM me, and I'll translate any Japanese in this story, if you have bad English, I'll translate that too.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its affiliates. If I did, the series wouldn't have had so many filler episodes.

* * *

**Heist**

"NANI?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Naruto screamed, "A FREAKIN' RING?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Yes dobe," the stoic Uchiha answered, "A ring, now can you stop screaming, we don't want the entire village to hear, do we?"

"Since when is a bloody ring a weapon of mass destruction?" Naruto retorted. "I mean, it's just a bloody ring, right?... right?"

"If you can stop freaking shouting for one moment, I'll explain." Sasuke answered. "Now, this isn't 'Just a bloody ring', this ring has the power of over 10,000 shinobi, and the leader of the Akatsuki is planning on wielding it. The thing is, this ring will incinerate the user if it is worn for too long, so he hasn't put it on yet, so we could steal it before he has the chance to use it. Problem is, it's in a safehouse in the Hidden Sound Village, surrounded by lasers, explosives, cameras, locks, and _'enough armed personnel to occupy Paris.'_ Ok, bad example, but you get the point. Also, this safehouse doubles as a casino, so there are lots of bystanders that will notice if something suspicious is going on."

"We don't even have the specs for anything in or around the casino," Sakura added, "Luckily, we know that the Akatsuki's army won't be mobilizing for a few months, so we have plenty of time to steal this artifact. But there's a problem."

"We can't get any shinobi into this casino." Sasuke finished."So-"

"Wait, you're telling me that Konoha, home to some of the best stealth experts can't get anybody into this casino, not even Tsunade-baa-chan who gambles like a fiend?!" Naruto asked incredulously.

"Yes, that's exactly it. Whenever anyone capable of controlling chakra, even to the slightest degree, enters the casino, he or she is found, interrogated, and either killed or released depending on whether or not they're truly shinobi or not, or if they're agents working for the Akatsuki." Sasuke answered. "Now let's get to the Hokage's office before any of your neighbors hears anything."

"Ok, just let me get ready," Naruto replied, "I certainly don't want to go to the Hokage's officein my pajamas."

"Ok, we'll meet you there dobe," Sasuke said upon standing up.

"See ya Naruto," Sakura added.

"Bye guys," Naruto said as he shoved them out the door, "See ya there."

He quickly ran back to his room and started to change, he certainly did not want to be late either.

* * *

_**Later, at the Hokage's office:**_

"WHERE IS NARUTO!!!!!!" Tsunade screamed at Sasuke and Sakura. She had obviously had been having a stressful day, due to the iminent Akatsuki invasion. No-one could blame her, knowing that an invasion was to happen soon was enough to make anyone turn bonkers. Unfortunately, Tsunade got extremely stressed, extremely quick, making this much, much more stressful to her than it should.

"He'll be here any second," the stoic Uchiha answered.

"HE'D BETTER BE!!!! OR I'LL-"

Just then, Naruto walked in.

"Sorry I'm late Tsunade-baa-chan, I stopped to get some ramen along the way and-"

"SHUT UP AND GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!!!!!"

"Ok, ok, geez. Who got you cranky today, Tsunade-baa-chan?"

"I heard that."

"I know"

"I assume Sasuke and Sakura briefed you on the general situation?"

"Un, they did."

"Then I'll skip to the point. We need expert thieves, but if you three have anyother suggestions, make them now," Tsunade stated. "Seeing as though you three carry the most weight in the Konoha Eleven, minus Sasuke of course, and the Rookie Nine of your generation, I thought that you three would be the best to help decide this. Make it snappy!"

"Well..."

* * *

**Me:** Muhahahahahahahahahaha! Another cliffhanger! 

Okay, I need all you readers to review and vote: Should Konoha hire expert thieves, or not. This will greatly affect the rest of the story, so make sure to vote!

-I'll need at least 7 people to vote, otherwise, there won't be a Chapter 4.

-If there is a Chapter 4, there will be lots of humor.


	4. The Solution Or Not

Yeah, that's right, I'm back. You freakin' people didn't give me enough votes, so I had to take matters into my own hands, lazy bastards.

I'll translate anything in this story, if need be.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, if I did, the series wouldn't have had so many filler episodes.

* * *

**Heist**

"Well," thought Naruto, "No, knowing Akatsuki, they'd somehow get assasins to replace the thieves, and kill us. But it was a good idea Baa-chan."

"How many times do I have to tell you," Tsunade warned, "DON'T CALL ME BAA-CHAN!!!! I'M NOT THAT OLD!!!"

"Ok, ok, I'll stop... baa-chan."

"ARRGGGG!! NARUTO!!!!!!"

"Haha! so long suckers!" Naruto yelled as he jumped out the window.

"Ugh, when will he ever learn," said the ever-so-stoic Uchiha.

"Well, he has changed," replied Sakura.

"Really? How so?"

"Well, now that I think about it, he hasn't really at all."

"No surprise there," said Sasuke, obviously sweatdropping.

"Well, do you two have any ideas as to what we're gonna do?" Tsunade said, as she dragged Naruto into the room.

"I-"

"CAN IT NARUTO!!"

"Okay, I'll shut up now."

"Dobe."

"Teme."

"Well, I think that Lee might be able to pass the chakra sensor," Sakura replied, after a while. "After all, I doubt they'd detect someone if they couldn't use nin or genjutsu."

"Problem, they'd recognize his bushy eyebrows."replied Naruto.

"We could send a shadow clone in..." Sasuke said.

"Oh, yeah, that'd work," Naruto said, with a hint of sarcasm. "Send a clone of the person they want inside. Seriously, I thought you were a smart one, teme."

"That's not what I meant." Sasuke countered. "I meant that they would be distracted by your clone, and so wouldn't have as much security while interrogating it."

"Hmm, but Itachi-"

"Itachi's dead, baka."

"Right, but Tobi-"

"Tobi won't be a problem."

"Yeah, but what about Pain-"

"Pain won't be there."

"And how do you know that?" Sakura finally interjected.

"Because he'll have his hands busy." Sasuke replied.

"With what?" Tsunade, Sakura, and Naruto asked dubiously.

"With Kabuto."

"Wha-"

Just then, the door opened.

"You!" Naruto yelled.

"Naruto, wait!" Sasuke yelled. "He's here on my orders."

"Orders, wha-"

"Allow me to explain," Kabuto interrupted. "When Orochimaru was killed, his jutsu on me was dispelled. I had a mind of my own for the very first time since I was little."

"Touching, but what does that have to do with us?" Naruto asked.

"The way I figure," Kabuto explained, "I owe a debt to you three. You three killed both Orochimaru, and Sasori, the two who had once controlled me."

"Kabuto has repaid that debt two times over to me," Sasuke continued, "But he still owes a debt to you two."

"Ahh, I see," Naruto said, understandingly. "They think Kabuto's on their side, because Sasori put that jutsu on him, but they don't know that Orochimaru got rid of it. But they also think that Kabuto is loyal to them. So naturally-"

"They'll let Kabuto in." Sasuke finished.

"Ahem."

They all turned.

"How do we know he can be trusted?" They'd forgotten about Tsunade.

"You can't," Kabuto replied. "But you trust Sasuke, and Sasuke trusts me, can't you accept his word?"

"We still don't completely trust him," Tsunade answered, "But enough to trust you... to an extent."

"Well, we have our entry strategy, but what about the rest?" Naruto asked. "How are we going to break into a chakra-reinforced, steel vault, much less get to it? And how are we going to get out?"

"Well...

* * *

Me: Muhahahahahahaha! Cliffhanger again!

Audience: NO! NOT ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER!

Me: Well, suffer. I hope you guys liked it. Chapter 5 will come, if you all give me just a tiny 4 reviews.


	5. Author's Note

Okay, I made a mistake, cause I originally had Kabuto as the bad guy, but then changed him to a good guy. I am going to go back, and re-make Chapter 4, because that is where I made the error. Think of it as the next chapter in the story, which I know you guys have been waiting for for so long. Please just wait a little longer!

-Tuatuara


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